You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
