So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They are going to name an STD after you.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
