just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
