Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My feet surprised me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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