maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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