Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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