Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
