She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
