I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
