Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
