the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
