i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
