if only i could text you this smell
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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