I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
