so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
