happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
