Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
