Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
