Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
God, I missed his penis.
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