She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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