My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
