Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i already hear my dad disowning me
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Shame - the story of my life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
