If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
