Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
