Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she peed on how many people?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
