found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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