Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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