I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
