Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
being pregnant is like rehab
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
