somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
