I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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