Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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