I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Help. Why am I so naked?
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