I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
