i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we're making bets on your personal life
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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