in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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