Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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