"it" just moved
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
