If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
