Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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