I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
