he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your penis caused this!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
