Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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