thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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