so that wasnt chicken after all
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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