Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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