I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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