I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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