my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
