Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
