How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
